I'll Write a Blog About It

Aside from being an all-around great guy, being the author of 'So...Yeah' comes with humble perks. While it is nice to be able to get a few rounds bought for you at the bar during a night out on the town, there are better trappings of being known on a global scale.

That's right, groupies.

Whether it is the blog or my aforementioned great guyness, for whatever reason the ladies just can't seem to resist the allure that is JrWorthy.

Allow me to set the stage. Friday night and of course the drinks were pouring. I admit it, that's just how I indulge. As fate would have it, throngs of fans of 'So...Yeah' were milling about, men and women alike, the lust in the air was palpable.

Of course the men had no shot, I just don't bend that way. On the other hand, the ladies...well let's just say they were almost falling over one another to get to me. (Well maybe they weren't falling over one another to get to me exactly, it could have been the alcohol - Oh what am I saying? They were practically ready to kill each other for the chance to just sit next to me even if it was to be the most fleeting of moments.)

All the cat fighting aside, I will readily admit that hearing all of the lavish praise does get tiresome after a bit. The compliments and comments were the same as they always are:
- "Oh my god, that is a tin of Altoids in your pocket!"
- "The face you make after doing a shot. It looks like you are about to throw up. Just plain sexy."
- "If you don't take your hand off my ass I am going to talk to the bouncer."

I am sure many of the male readers out there have trouble contemplating what it is like to be such a sought after commodity. To this I can only say, sucks to be you.

Moving on, the night was getting late and I saw no need to retire to my domicile alone. It was time to select which lady was going to be graced with my presence for the remainder of the evening. As I was making my way towards the door all of the adoring fans were waiting in line.

Down the line I went and with each eager fan that I passed smiling faces turned to frowns until I picked that one lucky girl. "You. You're coming home with me." Sure I could have taken a few of them home and run the floor like Magic ran Showtime at the Forum but sometimes I like to let some of the other guys in the bar have a shot at disappointing a lady.

We got back to my place and right off the bat clothes are coming off. I get drunk and have sex, that is what I do. All of the touching and rubbing, deep passionate kisses, you get the idea.

Not so fast. Just as I am going in for some of my patented amorous maneuvers she stops and says, "We are not going to have sex." (the sound of a needle being harshly removed from a spinning record)

"What?!?"
"We are not going to have sex."
"Why not?"
"Because if we have sex, you will write a blog about it."

Flabbergasted. WTF? Not being one to beg, I let that shit slide. If a woman doesn't wish to experience new levels of sexual bliss with yours truly, her loss. What she did not and still does not realize is that I would have kept my mouth completely sealed about any of our sexual escapades. However, since we didn't have sex she is in one way right. If we would have just gotten down to playing the old 'in-out, in-out' I would have simply made a mental note of the favorite techniques that make her coo. Now, she has left me with no other alternative other than to write a blog about it. Tease.

Would rather not be blogging about it,
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