Wednesday 20 August 2008

Enough is Enough!

Jen, seriously, when are you going to come to your senses and give me a call?

Sure the whole thing went south with Brad. Divorce happens, believe me, I know. Since then you have been running around with all of these other losers. Male models and musician types sound all well and good but I can't help wondering why you are wasting your time.

Seriously Ms. Jennifer Aniston, give me a call. Hell I would even take a call from 'your people' if it meant us getting a chance to go out on a date. You really should come to the District for a visit. I would be more than willing to take you around town.

For starters we could take a lovely stroll around my neighborhood and you could take in the sites and scents as you never have before. Sure some of the Latino men would stare and point, I mean what self respecting heterosexual male wouldn't be taken back with your stunning beauty, but I would be there to give them the kind of look that says, "Si, esta mami es conmigo."

Our walk would take us through several of the NW DC neighborhoods until we find ourselves on historic U. ST. We could stop in for a beer at a number of fine establishments. And for dinner?

For dinner I would take you to Ben's Chili Bowl. How many times has someone taken you to a historic landmark for a bite to eat? Without a doubt you have come to enjoy champagne taste but I dare say that you haven't lived until you've enjoyed a half-smoke with chili cheese fries and washed it down with a tasty cherry slushie.

Seriously Jen, when are you going to admit that you have been looking for a guy like me? I mean what is there not to love? I am single, I live in a basement apartment, and I currently have a job (albeit part time)working in a career that I desperately cannot stand. What about those facts does not point to me having the total package?

Go ahead and keep fooling yourself into thinking that there is someone else out there that can offer you more than I can. At first, you denying our love was kind of cute but lately it is starting to get a little annoying. John Mayer? Really? He dated Jessica Simpson for Christ's sake. Another bright side to dating me; I have never dated anyone remotely famous so you will never have to deal with relentless comparisons to any other starlets.

My eyes will only be for you Jennifer Aniston. If you ever want me to shout it from the rooftops I certainly will. I would even make a web page as an homage to our love. Of course I haven't made the website yet, because that would be a little creepy seeing how I don't even really know you.

Anyway, give it some thought but I am giving you fair warning. I can't say that I am going to wait around forever, there is a total hottie that works in the accounting department for the company that I work for and word around the office is that she is open to playing the old 'In/Out' with me. Oh, who am I kidding? I would dump her in an instant for the chance to drink your bath water.

Waiting for my phone to ring,
42

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