Just a Few Questions

What the fuck am I doing? I have no fucking clue. I walked away because because I took the red pill. Now all I can think, hey dumbass you hate the Matrix! This bears the question, what is wrong with being plugged in? No I am not asking you to reply, the question is rhetorical for all intents and purposes.
The choice made was red and now I am as close to cursing myself as I have ever been. For reference sake, I care not to wish the casting of curse onto others because you never know when it may come back to bite you in the ass. Look at Lady Anne,

Cursed be the hand that made these fatal holes!
Cursed be the heart that had the heart to do it!
Cursed the blood that let this blood from hence!

What did that get her? In one fail swoop she cursed herself by cursing the one person she hated most. Of course when she uttered those words of such foul contempt she had no idea she would wind up marrying the man that had killed her husband. In the long run she had doomed the lives of her yet to be born children.
So what to do now? That question is not rhetorical, in fact, feel free to comment away. Ok, I know I am not offering too much in the way of details regarding my chosen path nor have I disclosed the divergent nature of the blue pill. Regardless, the question I posed to you, which pill would you take and why?

Scratching my head,
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